Again and again and again.

QUICK ANNOUNCEMENT: In 5 posts I reach the 250 posts on this blog. To celebrate that I would like to ask those who do read me to choose one of the previous posts they liked, say a quick word about why they liked it, to be presented in the 25Oth post of the blog, that will do a quick re-cap and a top 11 posts kind of thing. Because I am that vain. To help, just comment which post you selected, as well as the reason you chose that post.

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Through repetition, through walking on paths trodden again and again, each time the same, each time different, through standing up and never letting go.

This is the way of the humans.

The tragedy remains the same; all identical, all unmoving. We don the archetypes we are dealt, the ones the stories want us to wear. Do you have a choice?

Not really; social order will set in. We might be thrown inside this world, at birth, then thrown into the commotions and complications that always arise, but in the end, stability comes. We then sink to the roles we are meant to have.

We become Antigone, Creon, we become Tyler Durden, we become Aragon, we become Tristan and Iseult, Zeus and Semele. Empires rise and fall.

You see the pointlessness in all of that. Parents have children, hoping they will grow up in a world devoid of strife and hunger, or at least a world that is better than ours. And you trace that instinct back to the first protozoa (literally first to live), those random self-replicating organisms. What you really hope is to be better able to replicate, that your genes will be allowed to continue their unending dance, competing with the rest of life surrounding us. Yet we are now at the top. We reached for a brief time the point where we can eat, drink and fuck, our bodies not encountering hardships, our brains rarely tested on the razor's edge. And this has brought ennui. Having enough time to realise what you are was never part of the plan.

Yet again, this pointlessness is but a mental state of comprehension. Yes; it can stress you out. But then again you do not need to hold on to an invisible purpose. Taking responsibility is not just about shedding your childhood's carapace and letting go of the guiding hand of your parents. You need to let go of every support but your own.

Oh, how tempting to find value in the eyes of a beautiful other. How tempting to find value in your attempts at intelligence, at your attempts at social acceptance. You keep needing to find something to prop yourself up against. A replacement for the faith you so easily lost. It is only human. Shred your replacement to pieces, yet another will rise to stabilize you. Again and again and again.

for i=1:1:aloted_life_time(end) do
live(i)
end

Do you blame yourself for being human? Do you blame yourself for derailing this text towards a personal state of mind?

No. Neither of those. I hope life to be something. An adjective, or collections of adjectives should be enough to describe this something.

But there is no adjective. Life is.

And then again. You read your blog and see you keep writing the same story again and again.

Through repetition, through walking on paths trodden again and again, each time the same, each time different, through standing up and never letting go.

Again. And again. And again.