Lost and found.

I am going through a rough patch again in my life.

My country suffers under an economic dictatorship, my relationship is currently is stasis, yet slowly resuscitating, but still risking unplugging, my future is uncertain, and my present is confusing and changing.

In all those domains, there is an either an evolution or a revolution happening and I am far away, participating only through thought, and distant action.

I try to have good moments I enjoy, to change the things that bother me, to work on who I am and who I want to be. At moments, I feel a bit lost. It is hard to enjoy your present when you fear further down there is an obstacle. Even if you know you are doing things to overcome it, when an evolution/revolution does not depend solely on you, and you have no information other than glimpses given to you by third parties, it can be hard.

Some would say I am free. I am young and can choose from many available options. Yet I do not feel like that. I had many a choices, even before. And now I still want the same things, I still want to move in that direction, but I hit a storm, and the boat is rocking.

I had written some posts I never put up during this period, that indicate how this strange storm was affecting me on the sentimental level. Even thought they do not remain accurate to my current mood, I have uploaded them. I intend to write another one about my views on the current situation in Greece.

However, in the title I mention that I also found something:

I did. The morale I kept loosing, and still loose from time to time. I try and manage to keep it longer and longer. It still can get affected by exterior events such as those mentioned, BUT, I still smile, still enjoy things, and I am sure that even in the worst situations, a small oasis of happiness exists, and I can find it. Sure some things might not work out, and sure I do not control everything in life, yet I can still stir my boat, and I WILL find happiness.